healthy-mind-body-me asked: Hi, I don't mean to be a creeper but I saw your post on capoeira.
I just found out about it and I want to start, but there's no classes in my area.
Do you have any advice for starting?
And how toned has it made your body?
Thanks :)

Hi! No you are not being creepy at all. I’m flattered that you are seeking advice from moi!  Ideally, learning from an experienced capoeirista is the best way to learn.  It really helps to have someone correct your posture;  practicing good technique is one of the cornerstones being a good capoeirista. Plus, you will need at least one other person to play capoeira with to have a “game”.

However, since there are none near you, (where do you live if you dont mind me asking?)  I’d say find a few good ”capoeira how to” youtube videos, learn the basics first. Practice the esquivas (blocks) and basic kicks.

It seems to me as if you are doing it more for fitness..?  Because it will in fact make you RIPPED!!  Don’t worry not in a bad lesbian-butch kind of way. It is by far the best workout I’ve ever done. Capoeira is like strength training plus cardio mixed into one, so yes, my body has gotten much more toned.  I’ve lost weight and gained more flexibility and agility.  All I can say is… Be. Prepared. To Sweat.  And believe me, its all worth it.  Your hard work will pay off for sure!  Brazilian bootiliciousness baby!

Good luck! and let me know if you have any more Q’s.

Since 2008 I’ve been playing capoeira.

It is. The hardest motherfucking hobby i’ve ever done in my life.

No joke, not even playing a cello solo in a muito grande concert hall was as hard as this. ( the cello has no buttons. Its you, some wood and four strings. Good luck.)

Training. I go 3-4 days a week, kicking, dodging and singing…always hoping to land some ridiculous cirque-du-soleil like feat..usually with repeated failure.

Aesthetics. My once beautiful feet look like that of Gollum from Lord of the Rings and my shiny new engagement ring is bent into an egg-like shape from repeated queda-de-rins and slamming to the floor to avoid being swatted to the ground by my superiors.

Leisure time. My vacations have now become quests for the closest capoeira center where in most cases, i will end up missing social dinners as the majority of scheduled class times are during prime evening supper (and thus, socializing) hours.

Meals. A calculated amount of good clean food must be consumed at least 2.5-3 hours prior to cap time.
Because:
A) I need food for energy..healthy food. Bad fuel will make me feel slow and sluggish. Not to mention a dip in energy level.
B) Eating anywhere too close to gametime can result in: major flatulence, and/or nausea during training. No one wants to smell your wind or see your morning pancakes in the middle of an armada.
C) Eating too early means a dead battery in the middle/end of class. Energy is especially importante during roda time. Would you enjoy sexy time without lube? I think not.

Odd eating habits like this also means missing brunch, as brunch is normally defined as: consuming the largest amount of unhealthy food for a minimum of 2 hours while chatting it up with compadres. Hasta la vista social life. (if they are however, willing to adhere to your strict requirements of size, timing and type of brunch…it can still happen. I define these people as True Friends. LOL)

In addition to food, i’ve learned to gulp water in an attractive camel-like fashion that would deem me the winner of any international beer chugging contest.

Happy hour on class days. What happy hour? Don’t you mean capoeira hour?

Finances. When budgeting for the month the order is as follows:
Food, Capoeira, Rent, Metro card, Clothing & accessories, Utilities, Toilet paper.

Hygiene. The smell. Oh lord the smell. Piles of sweat-riddled gear is always all over the house. Its like living in the mens locker room of a gym. In our house we boil spaghetti, eggs, tea, and..clothes. Lucky for moi, i have a grade A fiancé who loves to do laundry and i love to watch him do laundry. Laundry is a weekly activity for us..a change from my once a month trip to the basement in search of dryer sheets.

Television. Who needs TV when you can analyze hours upon hours of taped capoeira footage and YouTube clips off the internet?

Music skills. Thanks to what seems to be fate, I am back at playing with a metal string (arame) and a piece of wood, AKA, the Berimbau. Its such a simple instrument, yet it is surprisingly difficult. B/c of the berimbau, i now have an extra strong (and numb) pinky finger and incredible rock hunting abilities.

Games. Roda time means multiple 30 second performances featuring you and one other person in front of the entire class. This is where you demonstrate your mad skills. No pressure or anything.

As bad as I make it sound, I really love it. It’s refreshing and challenging. Learning all the time and being out of my element makes me surprisingly happy. Better than PIE on some days. And i fucking LOVE PIE. xoxoxooxo

Capoeira is awesome. Even if i am embarassed on a regular basis.

New swag alert! Friends….lend me your ears! Your iphone shall be naked no more. 

When I saw this adorable piece I knew it was to be mine.  Behold the RABITO.

Its really sturdy and well made…seems proven to shield your iphone from the elements, the sidewalk, your kitchen floor, and potential canine attacks.

Everywhere I go I’ve been getting compliments and long hard stares:

“WHAT?!?? It seems that that iphone is marching all over town disguised in a rabbit costume! How sneaky.”

Here is the promo video…also featuring an imposter bunny. Damn dopplegangers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40voGWDOr-8

**Regarding the used Chipotle napkin in the background…what can I say…I love me some burritos. Breakfast lunch and dinner…all day tacos and burritos = heaven.**

Hop to it bitches!! http://heyrabito.com/rabito/textyle

[Not THOSE toys….]

Imagine your love for kicks.  Now imagine your love for sushi.  Ergo, sushi adorned sneakers would be the creme de la creme on your 2011 X’mas wish list!

Well.  The awesomeness of two of my favorite things have come to together in a dry hump to merge as ONE. 
Video games are the shit. Who doesn’t like to relax after work with some Dance Central or release your days stress on the doof that is Balrog?  [Right after a brief cat-nap OF COURSE.]

*Here is Balrog looking constipated as usual.*

….And who doesn’t lurrrve toys?  (IE: Twister, Nerf Guns, Super Soakers, Barbies)

Well now you can combine the power of two of your maybe-fav things into UNO.

…Kidrobot + Street fighter = AWESOME-TOYS-THAT-DONT-DO-ANYTHING-BUT-WILL-MAKE-YOUR-PAD-LOOK-GROOVY-AND-THUS-MAKE-YOU-THE-ENVY-OF-ALL-YOUR-POSSE.

Aren’t they cute????????

Available July 7th for 9.95 pesos per blindbox.  Pray you don’t get stuck with any gay characters.

THEY’RE SUPER KAWAII BITCHES!

I love backpacks.

Por que?
Hands-free bags allow me to blog and dislodge an uber wedgie simultaneously!  Really allows for a whole new level of multi-tasking.

This backpack was designed by mlq.  It features a mean set of chompers, and a huge gullet…sufficiently spacious enough for Pinocchio, Gepetto, their ship, AND all your shit.

Recently, the black ones sold out…but the gray(t) white sharks have been released! [tell me you caught that…too damn punny, no?]  AND THEY ARE THE SHIT.

Check it out bitches!